Has it really been since fucking January? Damn. This is the same as every other damn journal I’ve ever kept. I write for a few weeks and then wander right the fuck off. I wonder if that has anything to do with ADHD? I was finally diagnosed by an actual headshrinker. Funny, given the amount of therapy I’ve had over my adult life, that no one nailed that one.
Granted, with as utterly fucked up as I was back when I first started therapy, you probably couldn’t spot it. It was too buried under batshit insanity. Now that I’ve been stable and (certifiably; I can now get *two* licensed professionals to write me a note proving it) sane for a few years, silly things like ADHD and sleep apnea can get taken care of.
Anyway. I’m feeling like I’m finding my writing voice again, which is good. I’ve actually been itching to write for the last few days, but with the boy crawling now, I just do NOT have time for this blogging bullshit. I’m noticing that the profanity is creeping in, which is a good sign. For some reason, ever since I got pregnant I haven’t been able to really write. I’d get blocked up, and the only things I could manage seem artificial. I’d say that was part of why I just dumped this blog after a few entries. Weirdly sterile, very little comedy, and little swearing. Which is fucked, because I have a fucking filthy fucking mouth.
For fuck’s sake.
I’m not going to play “catch up” or any of that bullshit, especially given that nobody reads this. I’m happy, everyone’s sleeping through the night, and the amount of time I adore my husband still greatly exceeds the amount of time I want to kill him. And I’m sure as shit not making any promises (to no one) to update. Just starting somewhere. Who knows where it’ll end up.