As a mother who lost a child, I want to take a moment to recommend a resource. Stillbirthday is a comprehensive, supportive network, where you can be put in touch with a “mentor” who has lost a child herself (among many other resources). My loss long predates the site’s existence, but I was lucky enough to have a “mentor” myself – a friend with a similar loss who emailed me the entire time I was in the hospital, talking about what she went through, how it felt, what was coming next, etc. I cannot ever express how much this mattered to me, and matters to me still.
I’ve previously written about my feelings about both antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds and a little about living with ADHD, but not in some time. This is because for the last several months I have been trying (with my psychiatrist, of course) a number of different medications and combinations in order to find the correct cocktail for myself. And no, I will not be sharing precisely what that mix is; I may bare my soul but I do have a few limits on what everyone gets to know. The point being that it has been a frustrating few months, lots of ups and downs, and it was tempting to just chuck the whole thing and accept that this is how my brain works and that’s the end of that. And then we found the right balance, and that is when things changed.